Squaring the Culture




"...and I will make justice the plumb line, and righteousness the level;
then hail will sweep away the refuge of lies,
and the waters will overflow the secret place."
Isaiah 28:17

02/19/2011 (11:16 am)

What Happens When Flow Chart Geeks Have Too Much Time On Their Hands

Hilarious.

If you click on the image, it’ll take you to a collection of cartoons for science geeks that may be worth your time, if you’re kinda one of them…

I had to look up the Katamari Damacy reference. It’s a video game music track. And I’m a freakin’ dinosaur.

10/05/2009 (12:45 pm)

Sandwich Police

sandwichpolice

Heh.

This was brought to my attention by my facebook friend, Frank C. The car is not Photoshopped; it appears to be a real squad car from the police force in Sandwich, MA, right here on Cape Cod.

It may not be such a bad idea. I recall friends back in elementary school eating a single slice of bologna between two pieces of Wonder Bread, and calling that a sandwich. I think they might have gotten more nutrition eating the wax paper it was wrapped in. “I’m sorry, Ma’am, but this is a violation of section 141.3b, impersonating a sandwich. We’ll have to ask you to come with us…”

09/18/2009 (6:30 am)

How Democrats Think

I grabbed this from the .sig block of a reader over at RedState, and I’m not sure who the artist is, but it does capture the entire Democratic party mentality in one, brief clip. Click on the image for a larger version.

queenpelosismaller

08/11/2009 (8:09 am)

Well Dressed Men

I’m back in “writing” mode for a few days, having to finish up the “Miracles” thing, but while you’re waiting for more incisive commentary on culture (how I do flatter myself!), here’s an entertaining lampoon of Barbara Boxer’s silly “well dressed protesters” comment.

Naturally, how a person is dressed is not a predictor of what sort of political connections he or she has. However, this just emphasizes how utterly silly Boxer’s complaint was. She was trying very, very hard to tie the town hall/tea party phenomenon to leftist delusions regarding the 2000 election in Florida, where Democrats created the illusion that Republicans stole the election, whereas in reality it was Democrats who tried but failed to steal an election they knew they had lost. She beclowned herself. I have a hard time taking Barbara Boxer seriously as anything but a junket-loving, graft-gulping Valley Girl, though I’m sure she’s got her dangerous, vindictive side.

In related news, Patterico has the definitive take-down of Nancy Pelosi’s and Steny Hoyer’s execrable accusation that town hall protesters are “un-American.” It seems that Ms. Pelosi has used “un-American” quite a few times, while vocally approving far more disruptive tactics from the left as “protected.” Like incipient racism, this sort of anti-intellectual resort to mindless jimgoism needs properly to be recognized as the common foible of leading Democrats, who use it far more, and far more unsoundly, than any respectable Republican ever has.

07/13/2009 (7:32 am)

Things You Don't Say To Your Wife

Not a bad parody, this. I’d never heard of Tim Hawkins before. He’s apparently a Christian comedian. Some of his stuff is a bit forced, but this isn’t bad, and he seems to be a talented voice and instrumentalist behind the fluff. Enjoy.

06/16/2009 (12:53 pm)

Fully Operational Death Star

debtstar2

Picked this up from a friend on facebook, but the photo editing apparently originates at photobucket. Cue the Vader theme…

03/02/2009 (11:27 am)

Standup Comedy at CPAC

My first report from CPAC is simply to post Ann Coulter’s talk. Her political analysis is, as usual, crisp and insightful, but you really can’t take this talk as analysis. It’s stand-up comedy, pure and simple. My reaction as I was listening was, “Who writes her material?” Of course, she writes it herself; and you’ll hear her come within a hair’s breadth of flubbing her delivery several times, so she actually needs to work on her patter. But still, this is well-constructed comedy, and viewed as such — recognizing that good comedy is always at least 75% hard truth — it’s really enjoyable, if you’re a Republican (or a Democrat with a sense of humor, a beast as apocryphal as the unicorn.) So, enjoy.

Best line of the morning: “I think we all know where Clinton’s ‘place called “Hope”‘ is…”

The line that gets munged between clips 1 and 2 is “I don’t think I’d be hanging the ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner just yet.”

02/23/2009 (8:19 pm)

Darwin Award Candidate

I’ve made it clear that I’m not a huge fan of Darwin Day, but I do acknowledge that Charles Darwin made a significant contribution to the field of biology, so I don’t mind supporting the award named after him. For those of you who never came across it, some twisted folks decided about a decade ago to present an annual Darwin Award to the person who, by causing their own death, performed the greatest service to the gene pool that year. Warning: if you do decide to visit the site, the awards really are rather dark; each of them represents a poor soul who did him- or herself in. Stupidly.

At any rate, Shelly plucked a post from an eBay message board by a person calling him- or herself junglemema314, that recounts the experience of some poor boob who deserves honorable mention in the Darwin Awards — honorable mention only because he survived. He’s lucky. See for yourselves:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety….??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.. Am I wrong?

Yeah, we can see where this heading already, can’t we? If this were a movie, I’d be covering my eyes and moaning “I can’t watch.”

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’ What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best.

I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, ‘don’t do it dipshit,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ol’ thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and …

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative.

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point,) I collected my wits (what little I had left,) sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my nuts and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return.

P.S.: My wife, can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !

I suppose the liberals in the government would insist on a warning posted prominently on the side of the device. I recommend a single word: Don’t.

02/20/2009 (5:59 pm)

With Apologies to Grammar Rock Fans

Jim Treacher has a parody of an old Grammar Rock piece about how a bill becomes a law, with his take on the stimulus bill. Drawings by the amazing cartoonist Batton Lash. Here’s a sample; doesn’t this just say it all?

justabill3jt

If you don’t remember the original, don’t miss the link near the top that takes you to the YouTube version. I’ll give you a clue, though — there’s nobody Flipping the Bird in the original.

02/19/2009 (11:09 am)

Hair o' the Dog That Bit Ye…

I swiped this from Power Line because it’s just so clear, as Ramirez sometimes is.

This is for those who somehow have missed the irony of the Democrats insisting that the cure for long-term, irresponsible borrowing and spending is trillions of dollars worth of borrowing and spending. It reminds me of the drunks who cure the morning hangover by dowsing it with liquor.

toon021809-thumb-410x284

Of course, the cartoon targets the correct Useful Idiots, who really do lack the self-reflection to see the unlikelihood that repeating the cause will effect the cure. There are some, I think, who understand perfectly well that the spending bill will not solve the economic problem, but insist on it anyhow in order to increase and secure their permanent political power. Can’t waste a good crisis, ya know…

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